Charles Dickens

"Are you bringing numbers five and

eight, you vagabond," said Mr. Trabb to the boy after that, "or

shall I kick you out of the shop and bring them myself?"

I selected the materials for a suit, with the assistance of Mr.

Trabb's judgment, and re-entered the parlour to be measured. For,

although Mr. Trabb had my measure already, and had previously been

quite contented with it, he said apologetically that it "wouldn't

do under existing circumstances, sir - wouldn't do at all." So, Mr.

Trabb measured and calculated me, in the parlour, as if I were an

estate and he the finest species of surveyor, and gave himself such

a world of trouble that I felt that no suit of clothes could

possibly remunerate him for his pains. When he had at last done and

had appointed to send the articles to Mr. Pumblechook's on the

Thursday evening, he said, with his hand upon the parlour lock, "I

know, sir, that London gentlemen cannot be expected to patronize

local work, as a rule; but if you would give me a turn now and then

in the quality of a townsman, I should greatly esteem it. Good

morning, sir, much obliged. - Door!"

The last word was flung at the boy, who had not the least notion

what it meant. But I saw him collapse as his master rubbed me out

with his hands, and my first decided experience of the stupendous

power of money, was, that it had morally laid upon his back,

Trabb's boy.

After this memorable event, I went to the hatter's, and the

bootmaker's, and the hosier's, and felt rather like Mother

Hubbard's dog whose outfit required the services of so many trades.

I also went to the coach-office and took my place for seven o'clock

on Saturday morning. It was not necessary to explain everywhere

that I had come into a handsome property; but whenever I said

anything to that effect, it followed that the officiating tradesman

ceased to have his attention diverted through the window by the

High-street, and concentrated his mind upon me. When I had ordered

everything I wanted, I directed my steps towards Pumblechook's,

and, as I approached that gentleman's place of business, I saw him

standing at his door.

He was waiting for me with great impatience. He had been out early

in the chaise-cart, and had called at the forge and heard the

news. He had prepared a collation for me in the Barnwell parlour,

and he too ordered his shopman to "come out of the gangway" as my

sacred person passed.

"My dear friend," said Mr. Pumblechook, taking me by both hands,

when he and I and the collation were alone, "I give you joy of your

good fortune. Well deserved, well deserved!"

This was coming to the point, and I thought it a sensible way of

expressing himself.

"To think," said Mr. Pumblechook, after snorting admiration at me

for some moments, "that I should have been the humble instrument of

leading up to this, is a proud reward."

I begged Mr. Pumblechook to remember that nothing was to be ever

said or hinted, on that point.

"My dear young friend," said Mr. Pumblechook, "if you will allow me

to call you so--"

I murmured "Certainly," and Mr. Pumblechook took me by both hands

again, and communicated a movement to his waistcoat, which had an

emotional appearance, though it was rather low down, "My dear young

friend, rely upon my doing my little all in your absence, by

keeping the fact before the mind of Joseph. - Joseph!" said Mr.

Pumblechook, in the way of a compassionate adjuration. "Joseph!!

Joseph!!!" Thereupon he shook his head and tapped it, expressing

his sense of deficiency in Joseph.

"But my dear young friend," said Mr. Pumblechook, "you must be

hungry, you must be exhausted. Be seated. Here is a chicken had

round from the Boar, here is a tongue had round from the Boar,

here's one or two little things had round from the Boar, that I

hope you may not despise. But do I," said Mr. Pumblechook, getting

up again the moment after he had sat down, "see afore me, him as I

ever sported with in his times of happy infancy? And may I - may

I - ?"

This May I, meant might he shake hands? I consented, and he was

fervent, and then sat down again.